My Birth Journey ~ Isabella

I remember every detail so vividly, I was having all the signs of pregnancy but never once considered it to be a possibility. You see, when I was 16yr I was told by my OBGYN that having kids is something that would never be in my future as she diagnosed me with severe endometriosis and Polycystic Ovarian Disease (PCOS). I grieved hard, I had always wanted kids, three of them to be honest, now I am being told that even one will never happen? I was devastated! Fast forward 4yrs from the news, I was at work complaining of the breast tenderness, being sick every night no matter what I ate, and complete exhaustion! The ladies I worked with convinced me to go get a pregnancy test on break and take it right there at work, I did just to amuse them and reassure them that I couldn't possibly be pregnant because I can't have kids. A few minutes later, (which seemed like an eternity to me), there it was, two pink lines, but how? I went to my doctor later that week and she confirmed it, pregnant! I was a young mom, I got married at the age of 18yr and now here I was at 20yr still trying to figure out my own life, and now pregnant. My husband at the time had been talking of joining the Army so I had to tell him right away, he decided to enlist despite my pregnancy and left shortly after we got the news.

My pregnancy was rough, I was high risk due to not having enough amniotic fluid for my baby and was growing rapidly! At just two months pregnant people were asking me when I was due, and at three months my doctors put me on maternity leave for better monitoring. I went every day for hour long stress and heart monitoring sessions, weekly for ultrasounds and endless labs whenever they saw something they didn't like during any of those. Despite my complications I felt great, I trusted my OBGYN and Midwife who worked closely together ensuring that every effort was being made for me and my baby to deliver safely. Two weeks before my delivery I was now on bedrest and the military moved us to Louisiana, my OBGYN pleaded with me to not take the risk of moving, he ensured me I could continue with our birth plan and move a few weeks after I delivered but my husband at the time was not having it. Young with no idea what to do, I did what I thought was expected of me and moved.

I went to the OBGYN on base at Fort Polk three days after arriving and handed him my chart, he glanced at it briefly tossed it aside, did a quick exam, and sent me home with very little extra. I was in so much pain I couldn't bare it yet we barely discussed it, "its normal and many women before you have lived through the same" is what I was told. Here I was in a completely strange place, with a doctor who didn't seem to care much at all about my journey, no family, no friends, and no clue what to do. Our household items got delivered, I got them all unpacked in record time, and went back to the doctor to discuss my pain only to be told to go home again and in the morning he would induce me if I wasn't progressing. At midnight that night I couldn't take it any longer and went in to the emergency room, they admitted me and called the doctor who was upset I couldn't wait till morning. A nurse got me situated, gave me an IV and told me she was starting Pitocin and that an anesthesiologist would be in shortly to give me an epidural. From the time I arrived in the hospital till the time my daughter was born 48.5hrs later it was a roller coaster! I got my IV and my epidural came shortly after which broke my water, the monitors were strapped on me and if I wanted to simply turn over I needed help. Over the time span, I to this day cannot tell you how many people were in and out of my room, giving me endless vaginal exams, no privacy, no information, and talking to every one around me, but rarely to me. I was scared, lost, and had no idea what was going on, I didn't even know the doctor anymore since I labored so long I ended up with a new one who was taking over call. They mentioned an emergency cesarean and prepped everything, literally had me rolling down the hall when I finally felt a strong urge and argued with them to let me push, I screamed at them I was right, they lifted my blanket and did a vaginal exam right there in the middle of the hallway! How dare them! I may have been young but I did know that was not okay! They saw I was right, rushed me back into the room, and I delivered a healthy baby girl.

Nobody told me I had any other options then how I delivered, back home I had a birth plan and felt included, in the military hospital I felt cold and ignored. I had no idea that I could refuse what felt like a hundred strangers doing endless vaginal exams, that the epidural & Pitocin were not required, and that I had a million other options with it all. I was mortified, my birth experience was awful and I walked away from it mortified, embarrassed, and feeling like my entire experience in the military hospital was an assembly line in a warehouse, they had a job to do, they did it, and moved on to the next one. While that is great in other aspects of our military, for those of us giving birth it is the last thing we need.

(Please know that my experience does not change my support to our armed forces, I am and always will be so grateful and supportive to all those who serve to protect us and our freedom.)